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The Following User Says Thank You to Carby For This Useful Post:

Today, 08:13 AM	? #2 (permalink)
05/07/2011 ? Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Pensacola, FL Posts: 19	You do not have to get drunk. You never have to drink again unless you make the choice to do so. Are you a member of any sober support groups? When I got sober I really had no one and ended up meeting quite a few good friends in a fellowship I attend. Being alone and in my own head is no place I try to be. You are worthy of love and happiness, you just have to reach for it. __________________ Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to YEM For This Useful Post:

Today, 08:15 AM	? #3 (permalink)
Last Drink or Drug: 7/24/2009 ? Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 745	Have you tried AA? Worked for me when nothing else would. IMO it sounds like you are planning your next drunk which will only make things worse __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:

Today, 08:34 AM	? #5 (permalink)
Last Drink or Drug: 7/24/2009 ? Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 745	Change occurs when the pain of staying the same is worse than the fear of doing something differant __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself
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Today, 08:38 AM	? #6 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Norfolk, VA Posts: 1,818	In our recovery, we are all alone to some degree. We do are doing it for ourselves. We get out of ourselves by helping others. Somewhere in your city, someone--a church or other organization--will be providing Thanksgiving dinner for those less fortunate. Volunteer to help. Yes, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
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Today, 08:42 AM	? #7 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Moscow, Russia Posts: 321	Quote: been having a real rough time the last few days, the holiday is coming and i have no family to speak of nor friends. i have been a loner my whole life and i dont talk to people, even when i am at a bar, i just sit there and mind my own business. i just have a funny feeling i will get drunk on thursday, it just is inevitable. i have been miserable these last 2 months because i am sober and because i ran out of money. Hi, Carby. Being lonely is not the end of the world. I'll be alone on Holidays, and I usually mind my own business too. Why should I feel miserable? No big deal. It is your choice to feel miserable or not to feel. Take care. __________________ "When you have gone so far that you can't manage one more step, then you've gone just half the distance that you're capable of." "On an ordinary day The extraordinary way"
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Today, 08:51 AM	? #9 (permalink)
Last Drink or Drug: 7/24/2009 ? Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 745	You still can help. Giving of yourself has nothing to do with money. There are no shortage of people you can lend a hand to. Giving of yourself is so important in recovery __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:

The Following User Says Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:

Today, 08:58 AM	? #11 (permalink)
Learning to live again ? Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 8,237	Hi Carby. I'm sorry for the unhappiness you are feeling right now. The holidays sure can bring out the loneliness & sadness in some of us. I think it's good that you shared these feelings - you are never alone - there's always someone to listen and understand. As a life long drinker, one thing I do know is that getting numb will not help. Sure, for a couple hours it might take the edge off - but you aren't really coping with your problem, you're just masking it. When you sober up, your misery will probably be twice as bad. I looked to alcohol as the answer so many times - and it never did a thing to help me or improve my situation. All I did was return to my same sad state. With a hangover, and poorer. I hope things can change for you, Carby. Meanwhile, keep talking to us. We care about you. __________________ You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:02 AM	? #13 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 386	I 150% agree with everything that everyone here has said... It seems like you are lost in self pity.. and self will.. do something about it and change. It can occur... you have to give it a chance... Good luck!
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Today, 09:05 AM	? #14 (permalink)
? ? Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..." Posts: 1,546	Quote: Originally Posted by carby what if i said i am one of those less fortunate and what if I said you are more fortunate than some? Quote: Originally Posted by carby i just have a funny feeling i will get drunk on thursday, it just is inevitable. Inevitable means impossible to avoid. Getting drunk is never "inevitable". It is a concious choice. Quote: Originally Posted by carby i have been miserable these last 2 months because i am sober and because i ran out of money. I would wager you were miserable before too. I am sorry you have been having a tough time and I hope you will consider some of the ideas people have presented you. It is important to take action. Read on this site. The insights here can provide so many ways to find relief, but it is you that must take the action.
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The Following User Says Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:23 AM	? #16 (permalink)
Last Drink or Drug: 7/24/2009 ? Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 745	You say you are not pleased with the recommendation for mental health services but your best thinking got you to were you are which IMO sounds not the greatest. Maybe it is time to try something differant. You live in a small room, are terrified of social interaction, share a bathroom with 15 people, are seriously considering drinking, have no money but in your mind there is no reason to change. At an AA meeting you do not have to say one word other than "Pass" AAer's welcome you just as you are. The reason SS services cares is because they do not want you to die an alcoholic death __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself
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The Following User Says Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:36 AM	? #18 (permalink)
? ? Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..." Posts: 1,546	Quote: Originally Posted by carby what should it matter to them if i drink, i am not hurting any of them. I hear ya. I'm assuming you live in the US. Untreated addiction and/or mental illness does impact society as a whole on many many levels. To think otherwise is naive. I understand that you are afraid. I have had paralyzing fear as well. What if you faced your fear? What is the worse thing that could happen? What if you could be freed from the mental prison you're currently in? Allow yourself to imagine what the future could hold for you. Allow the doctors to help you take back your power from the fear.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:38 AM	? #19 (permalink)
05/07/2011 ? Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Pensacola, FL Posts: 19	We have all been through rough times and have been dealt a tough hand in one way or another. Harboring those resentments and thinking of yourself and your situation as worse than anyone else or that your lot in life is unique will only keep you drinking. There is hope for you if you will make the decision to change and go to any length to get and stay sober. I could make a list of all the things in my life that are unfair but those things don't have anything to do with my choice to stay sober today. __________________ Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to YEM For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:43 AM	? #20 (permalink)
? ? Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..." Posts: 1,546	Quote: Originally Posted by carby ever had your parents abandon you? ever lived in and out of fosters homes for 18 years? how about living on the street for 10 years? living in and out of drug houses or abandoned houses to try and survive? society rejecting you at every turn, people not giving you a chance. there is a small glimpse of what my life has been like, now please tell me why i want to deal with people in society? i am not blaming anyone, i am stating facts that have been dealt to me. i am not one of these silver spoon people who have all kinds of comfort from family or friends You are absolutely right. You have not had a very good hand dealt. Your parents did not do right by you. I can only imagine the resilience it has taken for you to just survive up to this point. It has taken a great deal of strength from you. Many in your position have not lived this far, but you have. You are more capable than you think. All that you have recounted...That was then. This is now. Do not allow the past to imprison you forever. You hold the keys, you just don't know it yet.
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The Following User Says Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:

Today, 09:45 AM	? #21 (permalink)
Last Drink or Drug: 7/24/2009 ? Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 745	Quote: All that you have recounted...That was then. This is now. Do not allow the past to imprison you forever. You hold the keys, you just don't know it yet. Get out of the past and take a tiny step forward toward your new life. I know you can do it __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself
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The Following User Says Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FreeFall For This Useful Post:

Today, 10:22 AM	? #23 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Norfolk, VA Posts: 1,818	Quote: ...i am not one of these silver spoon people who have all kinds of comfort from family or friends. Some of us may have had "silver spoons" in our mouth, though I think you are generalizing if you think the bulk of us did. If we did, we replaced it with a bottle. That's makes us more alike than different. If you waiting for us to say, "You're right, Carby, you got it rough. You have our permission to drink," it isn't going to happen. We are a support site for recovering alcoholics and addicts. Embrace the support. Lot of folks don't even have that.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:

Today, 10:32 AM	? #24 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 180	Carby, don't hide from the future because of your past. You seem upset you will be alone for a holiday but you don't want to be with people either. You're setting yourself up to fail, expecially since you are already deciding that you are going to drink. If money is one of your problems, then you def. should not be spending what little you have on drinking. Going out and helping others on a holiday is an amazing experience. If you are the one that needs the help, then go to one of the free dinners and just be among people. You don't have to talk to anyone, even though forcing you to say hi to others at least would be a step that would help you greatly. If nothing else read a good book on the holiday, do ANYTHING but drink. Also, it might be scary to go to a mental health professional, but maybe once you talk to them they can help you move past certain things in your past. __________________ "Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you'll fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always trust yourself, because if you don't then who will??"
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Maylie For This Useful Post:

Today, 10:52 AM	? #25 (permalink)
? ? Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..." Posts: 1,546	Quote: Originally Posted by FreeFall Could you reach out to help at a shelter that helps foster kids? You are in a unique position to know how they feel and may make a huge difference for someone. This is an interesting and important point. Once you climb out of the hole, you actually could make a huge difference to a young person that had like circumstances. They wouldn't have to deal with the silver-spooned know-it-alls. Your horrible past experiences could then be used as a positive.
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The Following User Says Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:

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